My Graduation Speech

The following was written and performed by me. I was asked to be one of the student speakers at Anoka-Ramsey Community College's graduation ceremony. Note that the following was written to be performed.

Graduated;
But Still Enrolled

Good afternoon graduates. Classes are over, and here you all are: recovering from sleep deprivation, caffeine addictions, and paper-writing induced carpal tunnel or arthritis. Despite those setbacks, you all seemed to have coordinated very well. Several of you chose to wear similar outfits of the same style- and color. Black is a decent color, but I’m thinking hot-pink would have been a more flattering selection; personal opinion, of course.
Reaching graduation isn’t an easy task. It could be; if college was the only thing we had to focus on, but life doesn’t work that way. Though we enrolled here to take college courses, our lives were already enrolled in several other activities: family, friends, jobs, significant -or insignificant- others, sports, religion, extra-circular activities, and/or all of the above.
But why did we do it? Or a better question: how did we do it? How did we manage to maintain all these tasks? Skillful time management? Sacrifice? Or was did we do it because of our human nature? -The effects of Darwinism? When we entered college, our primitive instincts of “survival-of-the-fittest” raged within us kicked in and compelled us to aspire and achieve our highest potential. (PAUSE) –Or was it a mix of all-nighters, cramming, and the assistance of caffeine?
– I had a friend who had a t-shirt that read “I’m severely under-medicated;” I think we can all relate to this.
Anyway… that brings me back to the other question: why did we do it? Why did we pursue our education so diligently? Surely it wasn’t just for the paper certificate and the stylish matching gowns. Perhaps it was the desire to better ourselves. Whether that bettering be in the form of being able to attain that desired career, or in personal gratification. To be able to say “I did that. I was strong enough to do that.” More often, it is a combination of these two things: to personally know what we are capable of, and then being able to go on to prove our abilities to ourselves and others.
Abilities: 100% of us have them… However, according to Dave Roddy from the math department, 67% of statistics are made up; just like this one.
-I continue:
I believe every breathing human has two types of abilities: pleasing abilities, and displeasing abilities.
Our pleasing abilities? Our ability to learn, succeed, improve, love, forgive, and of course, live. And our displeasing abilities? Our ability to misjudge, misunderstand, fail, and… die.
It may occur to you that I neither called these abilities “positive,” nor did I label them “negative.” This may be due to optimism, but I believe that our displeasing abilities can be transformed from - or directed into - pleasing abilities.
How are these displeasing things bad? Misjudging and misunderstanding are difficult because committing them means we must admit that we are wrong; that we made a mistake, and yes, we must correct it.
(PAUSE) Ew.
Nonetheless, this can be a good thing – once we are able to swallow our crusty pride, we can realize that we have misjudged or misunderstood. Then, we have the opportunity to judge fairly and understand something for what it is rather than what it seems.
Failure; it is seemingly difficult to put a positive spin on it. It’s kind of like… picking your nose in public: we all do it, but no one wants to admit to it. But, admitting to failure means you admit to your humanity: as a human, you have the right – and sometimes the obligation – to fail – or pick your nose.
When I was going through grade school, I could barely read. It did not go unnoticed. Because of it, I was held back one year in school, I was often kept in from recess to re-do English homework I had failed. I was put into the – what I delicately refer to as the “dumb” - reading classes. In these classes, I had experiences with three types of teachers:

- Teacher category #1: Teachers who believed that my poor reading skills were a result of my lack of effort, my unwillingness to try, and my short attention span… (PAUSE)

Oh, I’m sorry, I saw a friend of mine among the graduates. Hi Mom. (PAUSE) Oh. Where was I? I’m sorry, I digress.

- Teacher category #2: Teachers who genuinely wanted to guide me to achieving a higher reading comprehension

- And sadly, teacher category #3: Teachers who gave up on me - sending me into the hallway because I had failed the reading test for the third time in a row.

It was because of my constant failure that I received special attention from a particular English teacher. For two years, she slammed me with homework and wouldn’t tolerate anything below a B. I resented her, she infuriated me. She’d drive me so close to the edge that I wanted to go right up to her and say…!
… She’s in this graduating class, isn’t she?
Well… Hello… I… didn’t know you’d be here. You look really great tonight. You… coordinated really well with everyone else I see… sorry Mom…
Because of those two years of painstaking hours of homework, and because of that teacher’s persistence and unconditional faith in me, I stopped failing my English tests. Months after I finally exited her class, I was recommended into AP courses because my English comprehension was college level.
The irony of this story is that my failure led to my eventual success – just as the obstacles we have encountered have made us stronger and smarter. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche said that… He’s dead now.
“Death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so.” These words are spoken by poet John Donne. –and no, I did not site Donne just to prove to my Honor’s Poetry teacher that on October 16 2006 I was really just resting my eyes and totally not sleeping during his lecture on influential poets.
Our friends and family will one day be able to tell generations beyond us how and when we died. But should we live our lives in fear of it?
Pfft. No! Of course not! That’d be silly!
So yes, one day our death will be forgotten, but this proves that death is not noteworthy, because we eventually forget it. But we, and generations beyond us, will never stop celebrating life. We remember the lives of others as others will remember our lives. The story of our lives never dies. History texts, YouTube, photos, saved diaries, and oral stories keep our lives alive forever. Focus on what will be remembered into the infinite generations; fear not death.
Graduates of 2008, this speech, the lessons - the advice we have attained, our overall education is worthless; unless we choose otherwise.
It is each and every one of us who chooses what direction our life will take.
It is each and every one of us who will decide how –and why we make the choices we now, and forevermore, will make.
It is each and every one of us who is capable of learning, succeeding, failing, improving, misjudging, loving, misunderstanding, forgiving, dying, and living.
This power of choice and power of potential gives all of us limitless possibilities and opportunities. But with great power, comes great responsibility.
– (Subtle) And yes I did just totally rip off that quote from Spider-Man.
Congratulations class of 2008, we graduated from college, but remember that we are still enrolled in life; our work is never done. Class dismissed.